Lies, And The Lying Liars Who Tell Them

I find it quite suspicious that Push Her Down The Stairs have been consistently getting every single question right for 6 rounds. Like the dirty, cheating, fucking Gypsies that they are, they must have come up with a new grift to cheat their way to glory! The true top teams in the league, the BiPolar Bears and the honorable Team Travis are continuing to fight the good fight, and I am confident that both teams, like the heroic Mighty Ducks, will overcome these dirty trivia tactics to once again take the top two spots in the league. It does not help that quite frequently our correct answers are marked as wrong (Meteorites are a completely different fucking things than Asteroids!)

The Final Countdown

Happy Birthday Sam

Happy Birthday Sam. Instead of giving you you're 200th birthday wish on facebook, I decided this was a better place for it.

I hope your first quarter-century was a good time, here's for another quarter-century (or two or three) of more good times.


-Team Captain Aaron Grandguillot *Editor's note: Co-Captain*

Team Theme Song

I been thinking about potential theme songs for our team. I was considering using "Bipolar Bear" by the Stone Temple Pilots, but that song sucks balls. But, while driving, and listening to the best song in the world, I knew I had found the prefect song. You have probably guessed it already, but it is none other that "HOT N COLD" by KATY FUCKING PERY! You may wonder why this song is so perfect, but I can't figure out why you would, since you love the song. It is because of one amazing, world-stopping, glorious lyric. "Got a case of love BI-POLAR." That makes this song perfect, FUCK YEAH, WE GOT IT!
I want to hear all of your opinions excepts Aaron's, because he is only co-captain, and is also in the dog house. Jeremy's opinion remains relevant.

Spellmasters

You guys seem really determined to spell my last name ending in an "aig."

Is this to keep my identity truly a secret, or is this because you have not taken the time (in the two-ish years I've known some of you) TO SPELL MY LAST NAME CORRECTLY?

Le sigh.

The Dawn of Time: A Story of Glorious Origins and Remarkable Possibilities

For centuries, historians have attempted to explain the significance of England's Stonehenge monument. Astronomers claimed archaic Brits erected the rock formation as a lunar sundial of sorts: capable of predicting the paths of stars and comets. Anthropologists claimed the rocks were created by mystics. Mystics hell-bent on pleasing their spiritual guides. It was only recently that the truth had been spoken by the Lazy Owl's very own Trivia guru's, The Bi-Polar Bears. While outside for a cigarette with an intoxicated no-namer, Jeremy Putz confessed the sacred truth: He himself had built Stonehenge.

Remarkably, the creation of Stonehenge was only one of the many great historical achievements accomplished by the Bi-Polar Bears. Sam Macaig was the first woman to ever canoe the Amazon. Aaron Grandguillot revolutionized agriculture when he initiated the first water irrigation systems known to man. Gena, always the scientist, discovered carbon-dating, a method for historically dating the numerous dinosaur bones dug up by Phil Smith, who was responsible for all major prehistoric discoveries since the Ice Age. Hell, even Joel built a pyramid or two.

No matter how highly regarded the accomplishments of Jeremy, Sam, Aaron, Gena, Phil and Joel remain, nothing any of them have done compare with the sheer power of Chelsea Kitsch and Erin Sifert. Chelsea being the creator of time, and Erin being the creator of space.

How is this possible? How could two 21st century Regina, Sk. citizens be responsible for the creation of time and space. To understand this, you must first understand how this all began. How the universe came to be.

In the beginning, only two beings existed, Chelsea Kitsch and Erin Sifert. Nothing else existed outside of Chelsea and Erin. Nothing. Then, without warning, on what later became known as "Monday", Chelsea created time. When the Prarie Dog asked Chelsea why she created time, she fondly recalled "I don't know, I just thought, wouldn't it be cool if I had a past and a future, so I went for it! And I haven't looked back since." Erin was less modest when asked by said publication about the creation of space, exclaiming "the creation space was the purpose of my life, in fact, creating space gave me life. It gave you life. I created life! Think about it, without space, where would you live?" Touche, Erin, Touche.

After time and space became old news, Chelsea and Erin took the next logical step, building a time machine. In an interview with BBC, Erin admitted "I think all Chelsea and I ever really wanted a time machine, but in the old days, that was impossible without time and space, so we gotter [sic] done and built that time machine. I wanted the machine to be cheery red, but Chels wanted it to be ocean blue, so it ended up looking kind of purpleish...". The rest of the Bi-Polar Bears were ecstatic to find out Chelsea and Erin had a time machine. Gena led the team to the machine with an enthusiastic "let's go back in time and build and discover shit!". And build and discover they did.

If you are reading this right now, you are likely relieved to have all of your suspicions confirmed. The reason the Bi-Polar Bears are the top trivia team at the Lazy Owl is because they have eternal access to everything space and time can offer a mere human. The Bi-Polar Bears may be fourth place this year so far, but that is on purpose, everything is on purpose when you control the past.

Joel is wrong.

Good introduction. But he's wrong about this co-captain nonsense. I'm the captain, Jeremy is the former captain. *Editors note: No, he's co-captain*

Anyways. Slow start to the season. I think we finished about fourth. We were a bit disorganized this week, with people still getting settled in moments before the first round started. Also, we uncharacteristically did poorly on the themed music round. Ah well.

It's a long season, and i'll be surprised if we're not first overall by the end of the month. We'll start trying next week. Hopefully most of our team shows up sober next time.

Fuck Y'All

This is our first blog, since I have been informed that all champion trivia teams need a blog, unless they cheat, then they can go fuck themselves because I hate them. Them being Push Her Down The Stairs. Who I hate. Because they fucking cheat.
Look out motherfuckers, I'm looking at you Craig, because Big Philly has made his triumphant return to Owl Trivia, and while he was too drunk to be of any use last night, he will be in full form next week and we will fuck every bodies shit up.
Wes and the Sexies need to watch their fucking shit, just because they had a lucky week does not mean this is going to become more than a 2 team league (3 teams if you count the fucking cheaters, I don't).

Just so you know who we all are for next time:

• Aaron "The Ragun Cajun" Grandguillot - Team C0-Captain/Panda Bear
• Jeremy "The Mongooose" Putz - Team Co-Captain/Jer Bear
• Samma "The Ramma" Macaig - Team Musical Coordinator/Yogi Bear
• Erin "Ticklish For Tequila" Sifert - Team Master of Ceremonies/Boo-Boo Bear
• Joel "The Joule" Yeomans - Team Coach,Manager&Owner/Grizzly Bear
• Phil "Big Philly Willy" Smith - Team "Sexy" Intern/Koala Bear
• Chelsea "Possibly a Traitor" Kitsch - Team Lush/ Bear Naked
• Gena "The Best of Us All" Shepherd - Team Eye Candy/Super Awesome Bear?

Just so everyone knows, we are split into best friends on the team, the consist of:

• Joel & Phil - Like Jay and Silent Bob, minus doing drugs or being anything like them at all. We like long jackets?
• Jeremy & Chelsea - The just clicked so well, and they have agreed that they can't even be friends with anyone else except each other.
• Sam & Erin - Like two peas in a pod.
• Gena & Aaron - Gena has no friends, so her boyfriend defaults as her best friend. He's cool with it.

Teams that we HATE!

• Push Her Down the Stairs - They cheat, and I hate them for it.
• Lady Godiva - all I have to say is one word, "Mangina"
• Broadstreet Brawlers - Threatening to fire Joel when we win is getting really old, it is clearly not going to happen since he fucking rules

Teams that we LIKE!

• Team Travis - Just mutual respect between the top two teams in the league
• Wes and the Sexies - The BiPolar Bears are boning Wes and the Sexies, although they are pushing their luck........
• Bite the Pillow, It's Going In Dry - All of Sam's friends are on this team.